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I submitted my application to the University of XXXX and just received notice that I was accepted.  I am very excited about it.  I would like to thank you for your help writing my personal statement.  I am sure it made a big difference in my application package.  Writing about myself is a very painful process.  Your help made everything so much easier.  Thank goodness I found you! 

Sample 1st Paragraph for the MSW, Mental Health, Forensic Social Work

Your distinguished MSW program at XXXX University is my first choice for graduate school because of the strength and diversity of your program, particularly in the area of Mental Health and Forensic Social Work. An older, Latino man who is very much dedicated to lifelong learning, now 50 years old, I hope to make my major contribution to my community and society over the course of the next several decades, based on the Master’s Degree that I hope to earn at XXXX University. I completed an ABA approved Paralegal program at UXX in 2000 to complement my undergraduate degree in Public Administration at the University of XXXX, also in 2000. And I have a great deal of professional and volunteer experience. 


Fellowship Bio, Latina Soldier, Homeless Veterans

Born in Costa Rica and raised in New York, I am a career army professional, a Latina soldier with an MBA and an American woman who proudly served her country for 28 yrs in the Army, retiring in 2008 as 1SG. Serving for no less than 15 years in Germany, 2 years in Panama, 1.5 years in Bosnia, and more than one year each in both Iraq and Kuwait—I was able to see much of the world and come to a vivid understanding of human suffering and political strife. Much of my work, especially as time progressed and I had opportunities to prove my worth, involved writing papers for briefings to higher command. I hope to be accepted to your competitive fellowship program on the strength of my profound passion for the goal of reducing the numbers of our veterans who find themselves homeless in America. I have been deeply engaged with this issue for some time and I see it as my life work. At the center of my studies will be the track records of both Congress and the Department of Defense along with a critical analysis of their current and historical policies concerning homeless veterans, with an eye towards raising public consciousness and subsequently giving a voice to public concerns that hopefully will be heard by both of these institutions.


I earned my Bachelor of Information Technology in August of 2005 and since then I have kept up my IT skills as this will be most useful for my long term goal of building my own non-governmental, non-profit organization dedicated to the cause of caring for our homeless veterans in America, networking with all other web sites that share this concern or help to promote awareness of the extent of the problem; along with the kind of graphic detail that gets people motivated to contribute to the solution and helps to keep them that way. Earning my MBA with a concentration in Human Resource Management in December of 2006 helped to greatly advance my horizons in the areas of human organization and human resource management and to prepare me for excellent performance as a recipient of the Congressional Army Fellowship.


I want to help implement laws and policies that reduce the number of veterans who are homeless by better streamlining our services to include education for these veterans, in several areas, all of which are an integral part of getting our veterans off the streets and caring for them. I want to work with both the private and public sector on this issue, coordinating efforts, continuing to executing missions based on policy; putting  my wisdom to good use in the area of policy development and program implementation. 28 years of service to the military has given me numerous windows into military issues and ways of thinking, our challenges, fears, and the struggle that is all so often involved in a return to civilian society, especially for combat veterans. Unlike a decade and a half ago when most homeless veterans were older, casualties of Vietnam, today we have new generations of homeless veterans as a result primarily of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. I feel strongly that way too many of these men and women, young and old alike, have been abandoned; and I seek to give my all to the rectification of this failure of our country to stand up and shoulder this responsibility in a humane and honorable way. This will be my ultimate pleasure to serve, my warmest salute, and my greatest joy. I thank you for considering my application to your competitive fellowship program.

All of the Statement samples on this web site were written more than 2 years ago and all are anonymous.

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